I'm Sorry, I Can't Be Perfect
by LittleMissObsessive
Summary: "Sharpay Evans is perfect. Like a life-size Barbie doll." /oneshot/ Rypay, onesided Zekepay


**I'm Sorry, I Can't Be Perfect**

_I don't mind if you know it_

_I'm beautifully broken_

_And I don't care if I show it_

"Beautifully Broken" - Ashlee Simpson

_Perfect_ (adjective): Entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.

Sharpay Evans is perfect.

Firstly, she's the most talented female I know. But don't tell Gabby I said that. Sharpay just has a presence about her when she takes the stage. She's fearless. I don't know, maybe I'm just jealous. I'd be shaking in my boots if I got up in front of hundreds of people and did what she does. And in _heels_ no less. That's not my bag. I'm more of a behind the scenes kind of girl. Don't get me wrong, I've got talent of my own. Not like her, though.

Secondly, she's so pretty! Sharpay always looks so great in her perfect pink outfits, with her hair and make-up just right. She's like a life-size Barbie doll. It just comes so effortlessly to her. I'd be the laughing stock of East High if I ever tried to look like that. They expect me to look like this. Mousy brown hair, boring blue eyes. My skin can burn on a cloudy day. The school would freak if I ever showed up with long, flowing blonde hair and a _to die for_ tan. They couldn't call me meek and mild then, could they?

And lastly, she's got _love_. Zeke loves Sharpay with every ounce of his being. It's not an option for him, it's just all he knows. She's first for him. She comes before basketball, she comes before his friends. He even told her once he'd give up baking for her. She laughed, but I thought it was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard in my life. For Zeke to offer to give up the one thing that truly makes him happy, that is true love. My boyfriend has never offered to give anything up for me. I mean, I love him but he's just so..._dumb_. Sensitivity is not his strong suit. It's all basketball and film directing with him. Zeke and Sharpay are like East High's Noah and Allie. She was tentative at first, very tentative. They fought, they argued, but their love still bloomed through. And once she gave in, their love came like a whirlwind. I thought that kind of love only existed in the movies, but seeing the two of them could convince anyone that true love is real. I don't think the love Jason and I have is anything from a movie. If it is, I wouldn't pay to see it.

Sharpay Evans is fucking perfect.

--

I am far from perfect.

Firstly, I'm talented. I was lucky enough to inherit my mothers dancing skills, but the singing came with lots and lots of practice. I've met with a vocal coach three times a week for the past eleven years and a dance coach two times a week for just as long. When I was younger, I was so shy. Mother enrolled me in drama classes to try and break me out of my shell and what do you know. I caught the acting bug. I thrived on that stage. It's like when my feet touched that worn wood, I became a different person. And that's all I really ever wanted to be.

Secondly, I'm pretty. But not effortlessly, that was for sure. Two hours on my hair, twenty minutes for make-up, forty minutes picking my outfit, dressing and picking Ryan's outfit each day. Three times a week I go to the tanning booth. Over 1300 a year lightening my hair. But that's a secret, everyone thinks I'm a natural blonde. Boring, plain old brown eyes that even my expensive make-up can't make shine. It isn't easy being the 'ice queen'.

And lastly, I've got _love_. Oh, yes. Zeke Baylor and I are in love. Real, true, unconditional love. It's all a lie, but it's love. See, Zeke and I have all of East High fooled. He's the only one who knows the real circumstances. I won't get into those now, let's just say Zeke is going to be in my life for a very, very long time. And I'm sure, one day, I'll grow to love him the way he loves me. But right now, I'm in love with another man. His blue eyes pierce my soul and his hands do things to me that I never thought I would experience. He's my Noah, he's my Jack, he's my everything. He's everything I want and everything I can't have. We're secret lovers, hidden in the confines of shadows. And, thank God for Zeke. He's become my cover for so many lies and sins. I'm indebted to him for life. Because of him, I'm allowed to really live right now. He's disappointed in me, but he always tells me I'll come back to him. This is just something I need to do right now. And he's right. Someday, my love and I will find other lives. We'll be separated and we'll move on. But for right now, I've found true love. A love I thought only existed in movies and in fairy tales. But it doesn't. It exists right here in Albuquerque. It exists for me and Ryan. I'm in love with my brother and, though our time is limited, we have a movie romance. The kind I'd pay good money to see.

I am not perfect. Unless, by perfect, you mean disgusting, broken, deceitful, morally disturbed and full of sins. In which case, yes.

I am fucking perfect.


End file.
